Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
there is puke in my bra ... again
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