Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
All the doctor said was why
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
