Church boner. Awkwardddd
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
