***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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