I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
