I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
it's like iHOP with fire
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
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