I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
