There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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