is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
