i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
