hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
