That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
