I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
