my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
