I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
