I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
