Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize