got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
