God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My feet surprised me
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
