if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
