apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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