My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
