You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
