Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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