im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dicks are not precious.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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