I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
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For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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