Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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