never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
