I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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