i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
