Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
