It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
