It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
