You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
