Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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