Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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