amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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