she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
BRING THE BAGELS
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
