I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We got so high we made milksteak
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have feelings that need drinking.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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