Porn is love you can see.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
