Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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