I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
