I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
