Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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