I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
