you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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