he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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