So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
