i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
