yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize