Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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