I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
