the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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