I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
