where am i from again
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
