She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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