Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
