Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
if i can run in heels then i can drive
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize