shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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