btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
