already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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