I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
