dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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