I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize